The action is set in the staff room of a busy NHS sexual health clinic. The staff receive the alarming news that the department is scheduled for closure and they are all set to be redeployed.

Pru, the long serving receptionist, decides to fight the closure and slowly descends into a Boudicca-esque caricature. Tony, a gay nurse, spends the play trying to keep his visiting, conservative mother away from his casual sexual acquaintance Aston when they both decide to pay him a visit on the same day. Malcolm the consultant attempts to write a rousing speech for the staff oblivious to the fact that Pru is besotted with him. Carl the junior doctor tries repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) to woo nurse Fiona as well as teach medical student Harry. Senior nurse Margie attempts to keep control of her department whilst her long suffering boyfriend Chris tries to propose to her. Eventually, however, the key to their woes lies with the quiet Harry and his influential father.




MALCOLM RICHARDS  A consultant, late middle aged. Mild mannered.Happy to live in his own little world in the shadow of others.

PRU ELLAWAY       Late middle aged; the epitome of the word ‘spinster’. She has been in love with Malcolm for years. She descends into a caricature of a warrior woman as the play progresses.

MARGIE WILSON     Divorcee with no children. Senior nurse. A strong woman who takes her career seriously without being overly ambitious.

TONY LEVINE       30-something nurse. Gay and very camp to his friends but has been hiding his sexuality from his parents.

FIONA CHAMBERS    Bright young nurse who is in the process of applying to medical school. Level headed and doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

CARL TURNER       Junior doctor. From a privileged background which has fostered a false sense of self confidence. He sees Fiona as a sexual challenge to be pursued.

JEAN LEVINE       Tony’s mother. Of Italian Catholic origin married to a Jew. She feels she knows very little about Tony’s life but is determined to find out.

ASTON MURRAY      A casual sexual acquaintance of Tony’s.

CHRIS EGERTON     Margie’s long suffering ‘boyfriend’. Not much personality but totally devoted to her. Margie sees him more as an old slipper. He carries a bunch of flowers that deteriorates gradually.

HARRY TEMPLETON   Medical student. Geeky in appearance. Very quiet. Son of Martin.

MARTIN TEMPLETON  Chief Executive of the trust. Married to money. Harry is his son. He has a secret life as a drag queen



Preview available here

Additional information

Cast Size


Script Type