This comedy play is set in a retirement home and the main plot revolves around the what’s happening between the manageress  of the home who is trying to get it closed down so she can sell it to  property developer and the residents of the home who  are trying to keep it open. Throw into the mix a pair of hapless burglars and a valuable work of art and things start to get chaotic.

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Edna Black – a eighty nine year old retired school dinner lady. Deaf as a post.
Benedict Brown – a seventy one year old retired army major. A bit stuttery.
Marjorie White – a seventy three year old retired post mistress. Very well spoken.
George Green – a ninety one year old retired traffic warden. A bit cantankerous.
Mildred Fitch – mangeress of the home. A battleaxe to the residents, but nice to
everyone else.( Mid thirties to mid fifities)
Tristan Longbottom – a very camp hairdresser (any age over mid twenties).
Leslie Arbuckle – a health and safety inspector (any age over mid twenties). A bit of a
know it all and a bit camp.
Melvin Burger – an american property developer in his mid forties. Very loud.
Mrs Delaney – an old cook from Dublin.
Edward or Edwina Richmond – An art gallery owner. ( Can be played by male or
Two burglars, can be played as a second part by two of the other actors.( possibly
by the actors playing Tristan and Leslie)



Preview available here

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