ORDER ORDER! by Garry Bailey


The State Opening of Parliament, a solemn affair full of pageant, pomp and circumstance – what England does best!  Until, that is the circumstances become wildly chaotic! The Palace of Westminster has never been besieged like this before!

Poor, meek, put-upon PPS Hubert Golightly MP has plenty to contend with, what with protesters chaining themselves to Big Ben, an over-zealous SWAT team and trying to find an MP (who thinks he’s a sex god) and who’s only interest is sleeping with a glamour model in the most unusual of places. The auditor from the Parliamentary Standards Authority is coming to do the audit, and she’s not all that she seems to be.  Added to this, Hubert has to also deal with a spooked out char lady, his boss, the perminately harassed Speaker of The House of Commons, a snooping reporter who is desperate to dish the dirt and make her name and the elderly, befuddled and perminately blotto Black Rod who’s only interest it seems is in emptying gin bottles.

Kidnap, assault, sex, escaped convicts and attempted murder, along with far too many naughty-nurses, all come together during one hysterically frantic evening.



Hubert Golightly MP,   PPS to the Speaker of the House of Commons

Lt. General Sir Desmond Rampant VC; DSO and Bar, Gentleman Usher of the Black Rod

Rt. Hon Roddy Gangoolie MP, Under Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs

Summer Dawns, A Glamour Model

Angie Dent, A cub-reporter

Mrs Bulstrode, Char lady par excellence

Rt. Hon Sir Freddy Horrocks MP,       Speaker of the House of Commons

Inspector McClang, of Scotland Yard

Felicity Grainger, An auditor from the Parliamentary Standards office


The Lady



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