CRYSTAL’S DEPARTMENT STORE
by Judith Foot
Welcome to Crystal’s Department Store, where high fashion is just old fashioned and good service is non-existent. But wait, things are about to change. When its elderly owner dies and leaves the store to Crystal King, she has no idea who he is or why she has inherited it. The unpopular Manager, Christopher Black, is outraged when he learns of this as he had expected to inherit the Store himself. He hires the Dig It Up Detective Bureau and sets out to discredit Crystal.
The staff are naturally suspicious, if not a little hostile towards Crystal, but with her resolve to save the Store from bankruptcy she begins to win them over. The Assistant Manager, Anton Du Blanc, is a French man with a poor and often hilarious grasp of the English language, who falls in love with Crystal and attempts to help her in her task, however his difficulty with the language actually exacerbates the situation. Julie works in the Ladies Department but appears to live an exciting and glamorous life outside of work, a life her co-workers question but cannot disprove. When she promises them Tom Cruise will relaunch the Store she may have taken things a step too far. Kate is expecting her first baby any day but cannot choose a name and her colleagues set out to help her, will she go with their suggestions of George or Charlotte? When her contractions start shortly before the fashion show she puts on a brave face for the sake of the Store. Ophelia de Havaland is Black’s secretary, they are having an affair and have turned the staff room into an infirmary for their own private use. But Ophelia, who is at first put out at Crystal’s arrival, begins to rally to her and questions Black’s motives, putting their relationship to the test.
Crystal is enchanted by the rather old fashioned Store but realizes it cannot continue to survive on its small clientele. She sets a string of events in motion which culminates in a dazzling fashion show and a final showdown
Crystal King – Leading lady. Well spoken, elegant and educated who gains in confidence during the transition from new arrival to owner of the Store. Romantically linked with Anton Du Blanc.
Christopher Black – Manager. A domineering bully who has no business acumen and believes he should have inherited the Store. Romantically linked to Ophelia De Havaland.
Anton Du Blanc – Assistant Manager. An amorous and likeable Frenchman with a poor grip of the English language which results in some humorous conversations. He likes to gesticulate and should be larger than life. He falls in love with Crystal King.
Ophelia De Havaland – Secretary and secret lover of Christopher Black. A slightly ditsy bombshell whose loyalty to Black is put to the test but who ultimately makes up her own mind.
Hayley Thompson – Head of Ladieswear. Older lady, kindly and fair character.
Julie – Shop Assistant Ladieswear. A Walter Mitty character whose life seems full of exciting adventures.
Ellie – Shop Assistant Ladieswear. A woman with a sharp tongue who often resorts to sarcasm to get her point across.
Kate – Pregnant Shop Assistant Ladieswear. Heavily pregnant and must show she is in considerable discomfort throughout the show.
Beth – Shop Assistant Ladieswear. Humorous role with throw away lines.
Dana – Shop Assistant Ladieswear. A slightly dim female who misunderstands the conversations and adds her own slant to the humour. The other assistants tend to ignore her comments.
Larry Moore – Head of Menswear. Older man who finds the job a bit much for him at times.
Kyle – Shop Assistant Menswear. Younger man with colourful character and a penchant for stylish fashionable clothes, plenty of spirit. Humorous role.
Nerys – Shop Assistant Menswear. Humorous role with throwaway lines.
Melanie – Shop Assistant Menswear. Humorous role with throwaway lines.
Graham – Elvis look alike maintenance man. Humorous role.
Poppy = (cameo) Cleaner (Could be played by actor of Melanie or Nerys)
Victor/Victoria Grim – (cameo) Solicitor
Private Investigator (cameo) – Man or woman
Act 1 – 1 hour 5 minutes
Act 2 – 50 minutes
Preview available here
Please click the button to buy a copy of this script.